A Powerful Way To Get Your Depressed Spouse To Get Help
Being married to a depressed partner is often VERY challenging. You are left to deal with loneliness, frustration, confusion, and pain. Due to the intensity of these emotions, you may have contemplated leaving your spouse on more than one occasion. Although you may feel at times like there is no help for your situation, the good news is that there really is a way to deal with this type of disorder. If your spouse is willing to seek assistance, there is a treatment that will help him.
If you really love your husband and do not want to leave him but would rather work on things to fix them, then read this article for a very effective technique that will give him the push he needs to go for the help without any resistance on his part. When he has succeeded in his therapy sessions, you will both be able to work towards having a good and loving relationship.
NLP by Richard Bandler and John Grinder teaches a technique called “the double bind” . What it entails is that while a person may be given two choices to do something, in reality, at a higher level, they are the same thing.
An example of this technique can be explained by the use of this analogy of a saleswoman. Afterwards, I will show you how you can use it with your unwilling spouse who is afraid to go for counseling.
A saleslady upon watching the people in her store, spots a customer who seems hesitant about buying something. She approaches the customer and remarks, “We offer installments of two or three payments if you would like to ring up this order right now.”
With this offer given to her, the customer than is very interested and makes the decision to buy the product although just mere moments before, she was ready to turn and walk away undecided about wanting to buy it at all.
Often with your spouse, you must use the sly an unconventional approaches to reach your partner. This can be a powerful way to open your husbands mind to the possibilities that therapy can offer him. It is a way that you can stress the importance of the matter without pressing him or making him feel even more depressed.
For example, how would a “normal” conversation go with a wife who is trying to convince her husband to seek professional help? Perhaps, something like this:
“Rick, you have seemed so down for the past several months. What’s going on with you?”
“What are you talking about woman. What do you mean that I seem down?Why don’t you try looking in the mirror and you’ll see someone who looks a little down.”
“It may be that I appear a little “down” to you dear, but I think perhaps you should maybe see someone.”
“What??! I don’t have a problem! Can’t you see there is nothing really wrong with me?”, he yells back.
And that would be the end of the conversation, with nothing resolved and no plan of action. Just two partners who are upset from all of the yells and screams of denial.
If you would like to avoid a conversation with your spouse such as the one above, you could try the following idea instead.
“Rick, you have seemed so down for the past several months. What’s going on with you?”
“What are you talking about woman. What do you mean that I seem down?Why don’t you try looking in the mirror and you’ll see someone who looks a little down.”
“It may be that I appear a little “down” to you dear, but I think perhaps you should maybe see someone.” You could go talk to Dr. Leslie, or if you would feel more comfortable, why not take a visit to Reverend Frasier’s home? It’s up to you.” I bet you will you will find that more often than not, he will answer you by say “O.K. I will go visit….” instead of “No, I am not going anywhere!” when given the choice to choose more than one option.
We all know that living with a spouse who is suffering from depression is not a picnic, but choosing to leave your partner is not often the best choice either.. If you would really like to stick through your marriage or don’t have the strength to leave your spouse, then try out the above tips to help guide him to making that choice to go see someone who can help him in a way that you can not. You will then find that your marriage will start to become a healthy, happy place to be a part of.
